I had the most wonderful time working at Waggener Edstrom Worldwide Inc. I learned so much from my colleagues and was inspired to be the best version of my work-self daily. The letter below, while it is not the best representation of my work self, but instead leaves my work with a taste of Madeline outside of business hours. A little silly but hopefully I make you smile. I sent this email around my company on the last hour of my last day at work.
Hi, I’m Troy McClure.
You might remember me from such Out of Office Messages as Going to a Doctor’s Appointment that’s Definitely Not an Interview
and Eek! There’s a Spider in my Ear!
I’m here today to talk to you about one of your coworkers- Madeline is no longer employed here at Waggener Edstrom Worldwide Inc. She wanted me to let you all know that she will miss you all dearly and to please remain in contact with her at email@example.com, Linked-in or @maddyduyck.
(Enter BILLY, 8 years old, doe-eyed)
Billy: Mr. McClure? Why did Miss Duyck leave us?
Troy lovingly ruffles Billy’s hair
Troy: The answer is simple Billy; Adventure. Gobs and gobs of wonderful travel. In fact, she would sell your skin to a leatherworker if she thought she could make a quick buck for gas off of it.
Billy’s JAW DROPS. Aghast.
Billy: But why would she do that?
Troy: Because she’s a monster, Billy. A greedy, heartless monster. And we’re better off without her.
Billy: I’ll say! Thanks Mr. McClure!
Troy: So there you have it, folks. Your co-worker is gone forever, off on some insane quest to exploit Mother Earth of her most precious natural resource.
That’s all for now. Watch for me in the upcoming Out of Office Message, It’s Not a Hangover, It’s Food Poisoning- I Swear! And be safe out there.